


Loving Life

by catcondo



Category: SCP - Containment Breach, SCP Foundation
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Childhood Trauma, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Enemies to Friends, Original Character(s), Slow Build, There's a lot of philosophical stuff in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27871805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcondo/pseuds/catcondo
Summary: Dr. Brekkins, a newly hired scientist at the SCP Foundation, is tasked with weekly inspection of SCP-035. She was warned beforehand of its sadistic nature, and the staff fully expect her to die doing that job. But she's proven to be something of a philosopher herself.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This originally started as a short story but I'm in too deep to go back help
> 
> bookmark this because i update this like twice a day lol

“Good luck.”

The metal door closed and locked behind Dr. Brekkins as she entered the observation room, leaving the facility guard that escorted her here to stand by the door. It seemed to be well kept- all the filing cabinets and desks were barren of any documents and folders, and the wheel-legged chairs were tucked snuggly under the control panel. Except… it was old. A layer of dust settled itself on everything in the room. She figured it hasn’t been occupied in quite some time. For how long, they didn’t say. Her job position was only open for a couple of days before she came in for an interview, but judging by how deserted the place looked, she deduced the position had been empty for longer. 

She made her way to a desk a few feet away from the glass wall separating the observation room from the room her subject was kept in. It, too, was dusty. She placed the file labeled ‘SCP-035’ onto it and sat on the old rolling chair. She sat there for a moment, just staring out the window in front of her into the empty room with a blank expression, before cracking her fingers and sighing. 

“Heeeere we goooo!” She reached for the file, eager to read about the SCP she was assigned. She had done some research before entering, but wasn’t allowed to access the official file until now. Brekkins reclined her chair and kicked her feet up onto the desk, engrossing herself in the papers in her hands. 

For a while it was just her and the room’s silence as she kept on reading. She made sure to be thorough and re-read containment protocols, but the SCP’s description caught her attention quickly. It was a mask, that she knew already, but it apparently has a black ooze that seeps out of its eyes and mouth constantly. The ooze is highly corrosive and the only way to preserve the mask is in a contained area is in a 4 inch thick glass case with an iron frame. It must be transported out of the box every 2 weeks and into another one, or else the corrosion will get through the glass. Brekkins noticed the ooze when she walked in and peered down into the room below her. It reminded her of tar.

She kept reading. Apparently, this guy’s super smart. Been around for a really long time. Witnessed a few things in its lifetime. But, it’s also pretty messed up and likes screwing with people for fun. She got that vibe from it before she even entered the room. It seems to have a really weird janked up moral compass that ultimately revolves around itself. But, what is selfishness if not human, right?

She decided that today would be a field day. She’d get accustomed to the room first, check to see if everything was working, and see if the SCP was alive and breathing. Breathing? Maybe something on the lines of being sentient is good enough.

Dr. Brekkins dug out some earbuds from her lab coat pocket and turned on some music as she walked around the room to test the equipment. A switch flicked downwards, turning the light in the observation room off. Another switch. That turned off the A/C. A green button turned on the voice recorder. A yellow lever turned on the emergency alarms in both the chamber and the observation deck. Brekkins jumped in surprise and quickly pulled it back down as her heart fell back into her chest.

“Hey!” The security guard from before barked, running inside. “What’s the problem here?!” Dr. Brekkins smiled sheepishly and set a hand to the back of her neck.

“Aaahhhah… sorry… I’m just checking to see if everything works correctly.”

The guard narrowed his eyes at her from behind his helmet’s visor before backing out of the room. “Alright. Just don’t do it again.” The door locked behind him once he left.

Oh! She almost forgot. She brought a clipboard with her to document her findings for today. She decided to stay professional, but write in it like a daily log. She took a seat on the spinning chair again and took out a pen. Then, she took to writing.

11/21/2018  
Prof. Samantha Brekkins  
06:25

Today was my first day on the job. I got acquainted with my living quarters and some of the people who will be working with me. I also did an evaluation of the observation room I will be working in every week. At first glance it seemed like everything was clean and tidy, but I noticed a thin layer of dust coating the entire room. Whoever worked here hasn’t been back in a long time. Other than that everything seems to be working fine. I’m supposed to carry everything I bring into the observation room back with me into the facility, so it makes sense that nothing is in the room.  
I haven’t interacted with SCP-035 yet. Judging by his malicious description, I decided that it would be better if I took the time to get used to my surroundings first. I’m set to work another day tomorrow so I’ll have more time to run a quick test on it then. It hasn’t spoken to me yet regardless. I wonder if it knows I’m here or not. No- it has to. I accidently set off the emergency alarm so it’s obvious that I’m here and that I’m a newbie. Maybe it only speaks if I 

“Are you done?”

The sudden loud voice made Dr. Brekkins jump out of her seat and yelp out in surprise. She looked out of the observation window with eyes the size of saucers, staring at the mask in the glass box intently. 

“Ohh well look at you. You’re new, I can tell. What’s your name?” 

She didn’t know how to respond. Should she tell it? Is her name classified? She came to the conclusion that the less it knows about her, the better. She kept her mouth shut.

“C’moonnn. It’s just a name. What am I, a fairy? You think I’m going to steal your name, don’t you? Here it’s easy to say. I’ll go first. The security guard outside your door is named Brenden.” 

How did it know that? 

“You might be wondering how I know that. He’s been here for a while.”

Man, she did not like this guy. No wonder the files kept saying it was manipulative.

“I’m not telling you my name.” She finally responded, speaking into the microphone at the control panel in front of her. 

“You will. In due time.” 

“Nah. Actually. I’m leaving right now. So goodbye.” Her voice gave away how awkward she was, and she was quick to get out of that situation. She turned off the transmission and looked back to her clipboard before erasing her last sentence.

11/21/2018  
Prof. Samantha Brekkins  
06:25

Today was my first day on the job. I got acquainted with my living quarters and some of the people who will be working with me on the job. I also did an evaluation of the observation room I will be working in every week. At first glance it seemed like everything was clean and tidy, but I noticed a thin layer of dust coating the entire room. Whoever worked here hasn’t been back in a long time. Other than that everything seems to be working fine. I’m supposed to carry everything I bring into the observation room back with me into the facility, so it makes sense that nothing is in the room.  
I haven’t interacted with SCP-035 yet. Judging by his malicious description, I decided that it would be better if I took the time to get used to my surroundings first. I’m set to work another day tomorrow so I’ll have more time to run a quick test on it then. It hasn’t spoken to me yet regardless. I wonder if it knows I’m here or not. No- it has to. I accidently set off the emergency alarm so it’s obvious that I’m here and that I’m a newbie.  
Nevermind. SCP-035 spoke to me and asked me for my name. I’ll conduct a test tomorrow in order to gauge exactly how much it knows about this facility.

End Log

Dr. Brekkins slid the clipboard back into her lab coat and stood up. She took SCp-035’s file and started towards the door, notifying the guard she was done for the day.

“Goodbye. See you tomorrow, doctor.”

She pressed her mouth into a thin line as she shot a glare over to the windowed wall. The door in front of her opened, and she was escorted out to her chambers without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

Dr. Brekkins sighed as she sat down at the control panel. Her hair was in a high ponytail today, and she wore glasses. She straightened them as she looked down at her clipboard. Written on it was a list of questions she would be asking SCP-035 and documenting its response. On the very top of the paper, written in red ink and circled, were the words 'DON'T BE SWAYED'. A reminder. 

Brenden stood outside the locked door like yesterday. The A/C emitted a gentle hum from somewhere in the room. Dr. Brekkins sucked in a breath and leaned forward to turn on the transmission, pen at the ready.

BEGINNING OF TEST 1

"Good morning."

"Good morning doctor."

"Sleep well?"

"I don't sleep."

"Oh. Right." She jotted that down as a note on the side column of the paper. "Well, I'm sure you know why I'm here so let's get to it. I'd like to know more about you. What's your relationship with this facility?"

"Oh we're in a very long term relationship her and I. She's a little possessive if you ask me."

"That's not what-" Dr. Brekkins took a moment to sign away from the intercom. "Not. What I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" 

"How long have you been in here?"

"Many years. Hundreds, even. Longer than you or your immediate family have been alive."

She quickly wrote down its response. It was being vague, but it's good enough. "And what was it like before you were captured?"

"Dark. I was alone for a very long time. Do you know how it feels like to be alone? I'm sure you do. It's a universal feeling." 

"Sure is. Could you elaborate on your past?"

"I witnessed many things. The creation of the pyramids. The development of the Mayans and their downfall. The evolution of man. But in the end I was forgotten. Abandoned in an old house, alone in the dark."

"Woah. I see." She leaned back from the intercom and jotted down what it said, fascinated by its timelessness. She contemplated her next question. It was tricky, and she knew it could easily lie on this one. "... Why were you abandoned?"

There was silence on the other end. She looked down through the window and saw that the mask was morphing before her eyes. Its joyous, laughing smile and upturned eyes twisted and turned in a black mass until it shaped itself into one of despair and grievance. 

"Nobody likes me for some reason. I can't fathom why- I have tried to help throughout all these years and yet I was mistreated and used. People just don't understand my point of view. I am too old and wise to be understood. My logic is impeccable, and humanity cannot understand that. My intentions have always been good."

Brekkins quickly wrote that down. "But they aren't." She responded. Her eyes widened after she realized what she said. "Wait-"

"What?" 

"No, Disregard what I said. I have another question for you-"

"No no by all means, I'd love to elaborate on that. Please, enlighten me. You think you know me? I'd like to see you try."

"035 I'm not here to psychoanalyse you. I'm just here to do my job. Now please-"

"Then why did you say it? You obviously have opinions about me you're keeping a secret. All humans have sad little pathetic secrets and all they do is hurt themselves and others-"

"And you don't?"

The room fell silent. For a moment both of them didn't speak. 

"Sorry, it's just… don't think I don't know your mind games 035. I know your intents just as well as you know mine."

"I know you better than you know yourself, doctor. You can't dream to know even a shred of my intentions."

"I do."

"No, you don't."

"Prove it then. If you know me so well, tell me what my name is."

"..."

"Yeah, 's what I thought. Humans are selfish and sad, but so are you, deep deep down inside where nobody can see it. That's why you were abandoned."

"You imply that all humans should be abandoned, too. That is true."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Let me ask you something, since you seem to be so keen on attacking me and my moral ground. Were you ever abandoned?"

There was a pause. "This isn't about me right now. Nor will it ever be."

"You were. You know how it feels. To be alone, in the dark. And you think that deep down inside, or maybe just festering below the surface, that it's your fault you were abandoned. That you were a bad person. Well, it's true."

"That makes both of us, then."

Dr. Bekkins turned off the intercom. The mask stared at her, it's face back to its happy smile it had at the beginning as if to mock her. She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled before writing down the conversation they just had. Then, she leaned forward again and continued.

"Alright, next question. Why do you like being manipulative and laugh at people's pain?"

"It's fun." 

"Is it now?"

"When you live for so long and know the ins and outs of the human's brain and thought processes, it's the only thing keeping you from being bored out of your mind."

"So everything is just a silly little theatre play to you."

"It's quite tragic, really."

"Doesn't seem like it from your smile you have on right now."

"Oh! You wound me!"

"Shut it, Shakespeare."

"You know I used to know the guy. Very brilliant mind, he was. Timeless plays and poetry."

"Yeah… I know a lot about him. It's cool you met him in real life. Although uh… he did some scummy things."

"What, leaving his wife and kids for years in order to become famous?"

"Pretty much."

"Pah, like you wouldn't."

"Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't."

Once again she jotted down the conversation they had onto her clipboard. She had no more questions to ask for today, it seemed. 

"Alright. That concludes today's session."

"Now hold on. I have a question for you. Eh eh eh nothing 'hard on the brain' don't worry. I just want to know something. Why did you take this job?"

"Hm?"

"You knew the dangers that came with it. Even if you weren't assigned to me in particular, you could have been assigned to something even worse. Like that plague doctor guy."

"You know he's literally in the cell right next to us."

"Point is, I want to know why."

"... Well. Looks like you'll have to figure it out your self. Goodbye."

"Woah woah woah woah wait-!"

Dr. Brekkins quickly turned off the transmission and stood up. She knocked on the door to notify the guard to escort her out. She left with tired, owl eyes. The mask in the chamber was still smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

The room was lit with an irritatingly bright lightbulb, illuminating all the white surfaces inside. Dr. Brekkins sat on an orange sectional couch, legs crossed, writing down her report. The lounge room was quiet at this time- her test finished quicker than expected, and most of the other scientists were still out conducting theirs. She took a sip from the cup of coffee she poured herself earlier before continuing to write.

11/22/2018  
Prof. Samantha Brekkins  
07:04

Test 1 was completed today. The contents of the test are questions regarding the subject’s past. Subject seems to have lived a long, unprecedented amount of time. Claims to have witnessed several forthcoming of humanity’s evolution. Was abandoned and eventually found by the foundation.

Note; Subject likes to learn. Has shown multiple occasions of it being curious, as well as a sense of humor. Not a funny one, if you ask me.

Note; 035 has shown its manipulative nature. Twists questions I ask it back onto me. I realize it’s looking for an emotional response. My next test will be subtle. I’ll just have a conversation with it, but not give it any emotional queues. Poker face, baby.

End Log

Dr. Brekkins sighed and ran a hand through her hair before letting it drop to her side. Her head lulled backwards and gently hit the back of the sofa. Tired icy blue eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above them. Her thin eyebrows pressed together as thoughts wandered through her head. Did she want it to know about her? Was that a good idea? No. She decided early on that there was nothing to know about. Was she up for this job? Yes. But you’re so tired- I don’t think you are- Yes I am. I can do this. But can you really? Yes. I can.

Suddenly the door to the lounge opened. A face she didn’t recognize walked in. It was another scientist, and he was holding a cup of coffee in his hands. He noticed her on the sofa after looking up from his papers and smiled gently, walking over and sitting on the chair next to her. He was older than her - about 10 years - and his short black hair had a few streaks of white in it. He wore a turtleneck under his labcoat.

“Hullo. I take it you’re the newest employee. 035, right?” His voice was deep but a bit gravely with age.

“Yeah, I am,” She extended her hand out. “‘Name’s Dr. Bekkins.” She smiled back at him.

He shook her hand gently. “Brekkins. What is that… eh…. Norweigen?” She nodded in conformation. “Hah, knew it. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Dr. Caplan. I observe SCP-049.” 

Brekkins nodded, her eyes trailing off. 049? That was the cell right next to hers. “Er uh, are you-” “Jewish? Yeah. I get that.” “I see. That’s cool.”

They warfed back into silence after that, settling for finishing their morning coffee. Brekkins closed her eyes as she let the warmth of the coffee cup to her lips warm her face. It was a nice feeling after being inside the cold facility halls for so long. She sat there and took it in, relaxing in her seat.

“Er,” She opened one eye to look at Dr. Caplan, who was staring down at his empty cup. “How is it like… working with the mask.” 

“I don’t know. I just got here.” 

“Ah yeah… right.”

“I will tell you though, he’s a bit of a prick.”

Dr. Caplan let out a light wheeze. “I can imagine.” 

“What about you? How long have you worked here?”

Dr. Caplan pursed his lips before answering, his expression turning solemn. “I’v worked here for quite some time. Seven years, to be exact. I started a few years after getting my doctorates.” 

Dr. Brekkins hummed in understanding. “And 049? What about them?”

“I’ve been in charge of him ever since I started working here. He knows me very well. And I know him very well.” He let out a sigh. “049 is an SCP that takes the form of a plague doctor. He believes humanity is a plague, and that he holds the cure.” Brekkins rose an eyebrow. “The cure is death.”

“Ohh… makes sense.” 

“I’ve had many discussions with him. He’s quiet most of the time, but he does speak on occasion. His philosophies are deep, but he is a misguided one, that man.” 

Dr. Brekkins’ mind went back to 035. She feels like it’s the same. It’s clever and wise, but very misguided. She chuckled a little. “It’s almost as if all the SCPs in this facility think that everyone in here is stupid except them.” 

Dr. Caplan looked at her squarely. She rose her eyebrows, surprised at his seriousness. “You may laugh, but what you just said sums up the entire classification of an SCP to a T.” 

“Do they really think that?”

“Every single one of them. They could act like your friends. 049 has - to me. But they will always know that they’re better than you. And, well, it’s true. It’s like you’re talking to an immortal vampire half the time.” He laughed at his own joke, and Brekkins couldn’t help but join in. They sighed in unison after that, going back to staring down at their now empty coffee mugs. 

Dr. Caplan stood up and offered to take her mug to the kitchen. Brekkin accepted and handed it to him. She went back to staring at the ceiling, head resting behind her. The door closed behind Dr. Caplan as he left. She closed her eyes for a moment. Then, she stood up and brushed herself off before heading to her quarters.


	4. Chapter 4

The room was dark, illuminated only by the red glow of a digital clock on a nightstand. On it read the time 05:57. Just a few more minutes until it would ring and the sleeping lump under the blankets would start their morning. 

Around the room was a clutter of files and clothing from previous days. Empty mugs littered the top of a desk, and crumpled paper was grouped in and around a trashcan in the corner. A laptop was still on, with 20 tabs open on the desktop. All in all, it was a mess to look at. Who lived in this depressing place? They should take care of themselves more often.

The alarm sounded. A groaning figure emerged from the covers, her blonde hair sticking up in strange places and covering her face. Dr. Brekkins yawned and stretched, the dark circles under her eyes more prominent than before. She got out of bed and into her bathroom to get ready for the day.

A guard escorted her to the testing chambers immediately after she exited her room. Luckily, she met a fellow scientist along the way. She kept her voice low as they spoke.

"Dr. Caplan! Good morning!"

"It's good to see you Dr. Brekkins. Have you had breakfast today?" 

"Nah. I usually eat it after testing. Helps keep the food in my stomach." She chuckled dryly. Dr. Caplan gave a sympathetic smile. 

"Hey, quiet you two. We're here." Sure enough, the guard was right. The two doctors parted ways and entered their observation rooms. Dr. Brekkins closed her eyes as she entered, preparing herself and reminding herself of what she promised she would do. She took out her clipboard and took a seat before turning on the intercom.

BEGINNING OF TEST 2

"Hey 035. Good morning."

"Good morning doctor. It's good to see you."

She paused for a moment. "I thought about it and decided that I won't be conducting a test today."

"Really? Why?"

"I'm going to be deciding my testing days based on how the last visit goes. I got some pretty extensive information from you last time so I don't think it's necessary this week."

"...Alright. What are you planning on doing today then? After all, I only get to see you once a week you know."

Dr. Brekkins studied the mask as they spoke. Still no sign of it changing its face. "Well I was planning on just sitting here and researching something on my laptop. I had started the research yesterday but I didn't get to finish it, so I'll do that today."

"Might I ask what you're researching?"

"No."

"Fair."

The two fell into silence as Dr. Brekkins turned off the intercom and opened her laptop. It opened to the webpage she was on before she fell asleep. The Smithsonian Museum's database. If its claims that it was extremely old are true, then the museum should have had a submission depicting it somehow. This proved to be a difficult challenge. The Smithsonian has had more than a thousand submissions throughout the ages, half of which are miniscule submissions that are historically important but could just be, for example, a cog from an engine in WW1. And she decided to take up the task of going through all of them.

As she scrolled down and tediously checked each submission, 035 spoke again.

"Say, what major do you specialize in? You're a doctor, right? You had to get a PhD for that title."

Dr. Brekkins took the intercom from its place on the control panel and moved it over to her laptop. "Biology." 

“Just general biology?”

“Yeah.”

“And where’d that passion come from?”

Dr. Brekkins tried her best not to chuckle. “I like the world.” She said simply. “It’s nice.”

“Oh please,” 035 mused, “there’s got to be something more to it.”

“No no it’s true,” She took a moment to compose herself, “there’s just so much to learn. Life is amazing.”

She expected the mask to laugh at her, maybe poke fun at her. Seriously, it was such a simple sentence, but it meant so much to her. But to her surprise there was silence on the other end. Strange. She peered over her computer to check up on the mask. It was still smiling, just not talking. She shrugged and went back to her research.  
Ten minutes passed in silence. She had put on some music during that time, humming along to it while she worked. She had gotten to entry 124-A before the mask spoke again.

“There’s more to it than that.” It finally said.

“Nope.”

“How can you love life? Haven’t you witnessed all the horrible things it comes with?”

“Yes, I have.”

“How can you love such a cruel thing like that?”

“It’s not cruel. It’s wonderful, because I’m just a fleeting moment in it.”

“Do you not see any worth in yourself?”

“035, if I had one wish that could come true, it would be to become an observer of the world and life. There’s so much more than just me. I wish everything that happened to me didn’t matter. Being a human is dumb.”

“So you’re saying you’d like to be a god.”

“No.”

“That’s what it sounds like to me.”

“I’d like you to take a moment to think about what you are.”

A pause, and then, “you want to be like me?” Another pause. “You’re ENVIOUS of me!”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t really matter. I just think it’s cool. I don’t really mind being a person. Like I said before, it’s only a wish.”

There was a laugh on the other end. “I can tell you what I’ve witnessed through my lifetime. I’ve the life you love. The giving of it, the loss of it, the horrible massacres and the prosperous civilizations. I’ve seen evolution happen before my very eyes. I’ve seen revolution happen, too. And let me tell you something. It’s monotonous. It’s sad, it’s boring. It’s melancholic. You hear me? It’s not what you think it is.”

“Maybe to you.” 

“Trust me, if you were me, you’d feel the same.”

“And I’m not you. You’re only fascinated in humanity- in human nature. That’s why you’re so manipulative. I’m fascinated in everything.”

“Do you think I wasn’t like you at one point? I loved it all, too. But you get bored after a while. A fleeting moment in time that is your life is something you should be proud to live in. You should be thankful for everything you have. Your emotions, your thoughts, your identity. That all makes up what you are. Don’t squander that by wishing for being nothing.”

Dr. Brekkins was taken aback quite a lot by that. She didn’t know how to feel - isn’t the mask supposed to be a manipulative sadistic entity? 

She sat in silence. Her eyes were fixated on the screen in front of her, but she wasn’t reading anything. Her eyes were unfocused as she spaced out and thought about what it said. Then, she sighed.

“It’s only a wish. Nothing more nothing less.”

“Give yourself some credit, would you?”

She pursed her lips. She’ll end this test before she gets too emotional. 

“I think that’s enough for today. Goodbye, 035.”

“Wait- but you said you were just here for research. What’s the rush? Unless, perhaps, you weren’t telling the truth to its entirety?”

“I assure you there was nothing happening aside from research.”

“Research that you still haven’t told me about.”

“You don’t need to know.”

“Well, sure I don’t. Except when it’s about me and you lie to me about it.”

The tips of her ears were turning red with anger. “Listen, would you drop it? I told you I wasn’t doing anything, so I’m not.”

“Liar.”

She clenched her fist and closed her eyes before taking a few deep breaths in and out, calming herself down. She sat like that for a long time before finally replying. “You know who’s a liar? You! All you ever do is lie! And you think I’m omitted to lying, while you can do it freely whenever you want? Everything is a game to you, while everything is important to me. You are in no position to call me of all people a liar.”

“But you are. And hey, that’s not a bad thing now is it?”

“Oh it sure is. Because you, Mr. 035, are a bad thing. Goodbye.”

She stood up and grabbed her things in a hurry before kicking the door lightly, her arms preoccupied. The guard opened the door for her. “Er… hey that was pretty fast-” “Outta my way.” Brenden stared at her with wide eyes before stepping to the side. “Calm down.” “I am calm.” “You aren’t. Relax, whatever it said to you doesn’t matter. It’s trying to get into your head. Tap into your emotions.”

She took another deep breath before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Lets just… go.” He nodded and closed the door, escorting her back to her room.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, give it a rest.” 

Dr. Caplan rested his hand on Dr. Brekkin’s shoulder. She slumped in response, closing her eyes. “I know you’re eager to do the best you can as a scientist in this facility but… your work isn’t your life y’know.”

Dr. Brekkins quietly closed the laptop in front of her and nodded. They were in her room- Dr. Caplan had come to check up on her and was met by a mess of a room and her slaving over her laptop in the dark.

“How about I get you some tea, eh? You look like you could use some.” He let his hand slide off of her shoulder.

“Yeah… that would be nice. Do you mind if I come with you?” She looked over to him, her eyes droopy with exhaustion. “I could use some… walking.”

“Not at all.” He shuffled over the door and waited for her there. She grabbed a hairband and tied her hair up into a messy bun, refusing to be seen in public like that. She was in some sweats and a large T-shirt. She went to go change into something more formal in the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw how tired she actually was. Dr. Caplan was right, she does need to give it a rest.

She came out in a sleeveless turtleneck and some leggings. Dr. Caplan opened the door for them and they walked in silence to the breakroom. 

She had her arms crossed over her chest, hunched over herself. Her eyes stayed glued to the ground. He cleared his throat awkwardly and she looked over at him. 

“There’s something you should know about the next test.” She responded with silence. “It’s… not a fun one. You don’t get to talk like you have the last two times.”

“How do you know?” She rose an eyebrow.

“I’ve met others who had your position. They all came out… not well after the third test. It took some weeks to recover from it.”

She was silent again, but less in inquiry and more in suspense. “I don’t exactly know what happens. I’ve never been in that cell. But they’ve always said some words that I shall not repeat afterwards. I just want you to know that.”

She nodded, though with a little apprehension. “Alright… thank you.”

They arrived at the breakroom and Dr. Caplan turned on the kettle. Dr. Brekkins decided to grab something from the fridge- there was some leftover pepperoni pizza in the back. Eh, good enough. She grabbed a slice and warmed it up in the microwave before sitting down in a chair.

“So what are some of your hobbies?” Caplan asked from the kitchen. 

She answered in between bites. “I don’t have a lot,” a pause, “I like to go on walks when I can. Coding is pretty fun too. Oh! I also like to read.” 

“What are some of your favorite books? Or maybe a favorite genre?” He asked, the kettle boiling behind him.

“Gosh. I don’t have a favorite book, but my favorite genre is science fiction. What about you? Have any hobbies?” She finished her pizza and walked over to the kitchen to wash her hands.

“I like to play chess in my free time with some friends here in the facility. I’ve also picked up writing and I’ve started writing my own book!” There was a gleam in his eyes when he said that, and Dr. Brekkins rose her eyebrows in surprise.

“A book? That’s so cool. Since I like to read and you like to write, why not you and I have be like… brainstormers? You write the story and I give you feedback about what I like about it and what needs improvement.”

“I’d like that a lot.” Dr. Caplan smiled warmly at her. The kettle behind them sounded off, and they turned to it. Dr. Caplan took out two tea bags from a cabinet and set them inside two cups before pouring the steaming hot water over them. “It’s my first book so I’ll need a lot of feedback.”

Suddenly the breakroom door opened to reveal another scientist- one she recognized from her first day but never bothered to talk to. “Hey!” They waved over to the two of them and walked over. “Fancy meeting you two here.”

“Dr. Patel! Good to see you! Where have you been I haven’t seen you in almost a month!” Dr. Caplan laughed and hugged who Dr. Brekkins assumed to be Dr. Patel. Dr. Patel hugged him back, chuckling. 

“Sorry my friend, I was relocated to light containment for a while. One of the scientists… er… Dr. Risha! She had come down with something and was told to stay in her living quarters until she felt better. I was her replacement for the time being.” They stopped hugging each other, but still held onto each others forearms. “I’m happy to see you are well.”

“Dr. Risha eh? I’m glad she’s doing better then. Oh!” He moved aside and gestured to Dr. Brekkins. “This is Dr. Brekkins. She’s the newest scientist assigned to SCP-035.”

“It’s good to meet you Dr. Brekkins. I’m Dr. Patel. I’m in charge of SCP-079, the computer. Luckily he’s not a menace like the two you guys have to deal with.”

“Yeah,” Dr. Caplan was adding sugar to his tea while the two of them spoke. “He has his work cut out for him. He got a pretty normal SCP compared to us.” 

“Well, that’s not all true. He’s not violent but he sure is annoying to work with. Refuses to cooperate with me. I’m glad I had a month off.” 

All three of them laughed at that. Dr. Brekkins added some sugar to her tea as well, and the group chatted away until late into the night about their experiences in the foundation. Dr. Caplan told them of stories about his childhood in Israel, and Dr. Patel recalled stories of his college years and weird experiences he’s had with 079. Dr. Brekkins told them about her life before taking this job- about how she worked as a biologist in the field, studying different species of birds and monkies out in Brazil. She told them of stories in the jungle like the 3 foot long spiders she had to deal with and the tons of mosquitos. All in all, it was a great evening. But the lingering feeling of the next test just a few days away stayed with her. She wasn’t sure what to expect, and she didn’t know if that made it better or worse.

She decided not to write the log for the last test. There was no valuable information gathered from it anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! there's disturbing stuff in this chapter, so warning! I'll be putting warnings on each chapter that contains stuff like this, so read at your own expense

Today was the day. Dr. Brekkins woke up with a headache- already a wonderful sign that this day would be successful. She had her morning coffee, but that didn't help her nervousness. The words Dr. Caplan told her still plagued her mind. She didn't want to know what was coming.

She grabbed her clipboard and files, shrugged on a lab coat, and made her way down to the chambers with Brenden. He notified her that they would be making a stop before they entered.

As they came closer to the cell, Dr. Brekkins saw a D-Class being escorted by a security guard. They stopped in front of the two of them, and the security guard shoved the D-Class over to them.

"Here's your lab rat. Do me a favor and don't die like the last scientist?" With that, he turned around and marched away.

Dr. Brekkins stared in shock and disbelief at the guard's retreating figure. Die…? She looked over at the D-Class, who was shaking in his boots. He was just as scared as she was, if not more. They continued on their way to the chamber. "What's your name?"

"Meh…Matthew- Matthew." He sputtered. She looked at him with guilt in her eyes. "I don't know what's gonna happen ma'am."

"I'm Dr. Brekkins. I don't know either. I was hoping you did…" 

She trailed off as they arrived at the cell doors. She gave Matthew one last look before entering the control room and sitting down, clipboard in hand. She waited in suspense, her eyes glued onto the door leading to the chamber. It opened after a moment and Matthew was shoved inside before closing and locking again. He looked petrified. She realized that, despite her protests, she'd have to record SCP-035 and Matthew's behavior during this.

BEGINNING OF TEST 3

Dr. Brekkins leaned toward the intercom. She tapped it once before speaking. "How are you feeling in there, Matthew?

Matthew was standing still. He hadn't moved from his spot at the door yet. "Not good…"

"Can you elaborate?"

Suddenly he clutched his head, his eyebrows scrunching. "I have a headache…"

Dr. Brekkins frowned and recorded his response in the log. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt? 1 being the least and 10 being the greatest."

"7." 

"Just… suddenly? One moment no headache and the next a really bad one?"

"Yeah… I'm…-" He sucked in a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "I hear stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Whispering. Like… Latin… it sounds like chanting."

She didn't hear anything. She wrote down his response. "Okay. Matthew, listen to me. I need you to walk closer to 035. Can you do that?"

Matthew violently shook his head, retreating into himself and holding his hands over his face. "It's already too much I can't-"

He started bawling. There were no tears before this, but suddenly he was sobbing into his hands. He fell into the ground and held his knees, still crying.

Dr. Brekkins quickly recorded his behavior. "Matthew. Matthew I need you to chill out. Take a chill pill. You're not going to die everything is going to be okay. Alright? Everything is going to be fine."

"Okay…" He stopped crying, acting as if it never happened, and stood up. Then, he took a few steps towards the case holding the mask. "My headache is getting worse… it hurts so much… The whispering is so loud now."

Dr. Brekkins painstakingly recorded his response. A lump in her throat had formed and was not planning on leaving any time soon. "It's going to be over soon. Just a few more minutes, you can do this."

"No- no no no no no-" He clutched his head again, grasping at his hair. He started screaming. One loud, high pitched scream that made Dr. Brekkins turn off the reception in order to save her eardrums. Even then, she could hear the screaming from the other room. Without warning Matthew jumped towards the glass container and started punching it, still screaming. She quickly turned on the intercom.

"Matthew! MATTHEW STOP- MATTHEW!" She shrieked. The glass box broke, although not by Matthew's fists. It did it on its own. The liquid seeping out of the mask dripped onto the floor, pooling around the stand. Glass shards impaled him, but he seemed to not feel them- or not care. Instead, he grabbed the mask and violently put it onto his face. His scream echoed through the entire hall as he fell onto the floor. The mask glued itself onto him and, after a few more moments of screaming, he fell into silence. He wasn't moving.

Dr. Brekkins starred in utter shock as the scene unraveled before her. There was glass on the ground and in Matthew's body. Black goop oozed around the floor, pooling around his body as he lay motionless on the floor. She slowly opened her mouth, unsure whether to even speak or not. Eventually she muttered up enough courage to get a word or two out. Her voice was high pitched and hoarse.

"Matth...ew…?" 

The body on the ground did not move.

She shakily wrote down what had happened on her clipboard, keeping an eye on the body all the while. Then something strange happened.

His hair, once blonde and short, wilted off of his scalp. In a few seconds his scalp started turning black, covering itself in the ooze the mask secreted. Dr. Brekkins wrote down the phenomena while she observed in terrified silence. 

In a few minutes his entire head was covered in the black substance. After it started making its way down his neck, something happened. His finger twitched. 

Then, there was a laugh. 

He spoke. His voice was different. It sounded like it was spoken through a microphone and then transmitted through some poor audio. It sounded like the voice she had been talking to for the past four weeks. 

"Surprise surprise. Ahhh, finally." It clenched and unclenched its hands and rolled its neck, getting used to its new host. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

She stared in horror at the sight in front of her. "035…?" 

"That's me alright. Now I can finally talk to you and use hand gestures! Isn't that great."

"What did you do… with Matthew?"

"That D-Class? Isn't it obvious? He's me now. He's still alive, but not for very long. And I can operate this body while he's dead, too."

The clipboard dropped onto the ground. She cupped her hand over her mouth, tears picking the corner of her eyes. 

"Hey, have I ever told you I can read people's thoughts? I can. I'm reading yours right now. They're not very nice if you ask me."

Dr. Brekkins. You need to calm down. You can't leave this room just yet.

Her consciousness was right. She was a scientist and she had a test to finish. Emotions can't get in the way with that anymore.

"How long will you stay like that?" She finally said.

"A long time. Last time this happened I was on the guy for at least a week." 

"Did they ever come take you off?"

"Once I get on I can't be taken off. They just kept me in here to my own devices until I eventually fell off."

She wrote that down. "And… what's the point? Of possessing a body, I mean."

"I want to get out. This is the only way I can do that. Don't you want to get out, doctor?"

She felt a sharp pang in her head and clutched it, seething in pain. "Hey, cut it out. I know you're the one making me have this horrible headache."

It just stood there. They starred at each other- finally. All this time, it has been facing the walk in front of her, never being able to actually see her face. Now all it did was look up and stare at her, even if she wasn't staring at it. 

"Look at something else would you."

"I don't think I will." 

She grunted in response. Everything that just happened was important information. She tried her best to get all the details down while they were still traumatically fresh in her mind. 

"So we get to talk like this next time I come here, huh." 

"Yes."

"Isn't that nice."

"It is. But if you truly want to save this sorry fool, you still can."

She rose an eyebrow.

"Like I said, he's not dead yet. You can still take me off if you really try. Your fingers might fall off, but that's all really. If you were to come in and try you could probably do it and save his life."

Oh hell no.

"Woah, do you really think I'm that stupid?"

It threw its arms up in exasperation. "It was worth a shot. You're too smart. But- oh. What's this?" It let out a gasp. "He knows your name! I can't believe you were so trusting that you would give your name out to this random stranger and not me. I'm hurt, truly." 

She clenched her teeth, writing down this new information. Apparently it can share the memories of the person it possesses. 

"Can you feel what he feels?"

"Yes, but it doesn't affect me. Right now he's crying for his life and panicking like a maniac." The black ooze has now covered Matthew's body to his shoulders. "Sad, really. Why'd you do this to him? Why'd you go along with it?"

"I didn't. I didn't know what I was getting into."

"But you told him to step towards me did you? You recall yourself saying that right?"

She sat in silence. The laughing mask simply stared at her. "How long will it take until he dies."

"About 5 more minutes, more or less." 

They starred at each other. She didn't know what to say or do, so she sat there until Matthew was no more, watching as the black substance encased his body. It was like a depressing, horrifying staring contest.

"You have beautiful eyes."

No response.

"I'm glad we finally had a proper conversation. Just two mortal beings, you and I."

Still no response.

"I can't wait until we meet again." 

"You are such a weirdo."

"What can I say? I am a literal talking mask."

"No I mean- tone it down a notch with the manipulation would you?"

"Fine."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "Is he… dead yet?"

"Yes. He's gone. It's just me now."

After a moment of silence, she stood up and grabbed her clipboard before walking to the door.

"Goodbye, Dr. Brekkins."


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Brekkins was in her dark room yet again, staring at the laptop screen as it illuminated her face. The digital clock near her nightstand said 04:57. She'd stayed up this entire time, continuing her research on 035 through the Smithsonian files. So far, the only thing she found pertaining to 035 was a letter about a strange mask written by a Victorian woman to her husband. Its contents revealed no new information, so she saved it for further inspection and to bring up with the facility before moving onwards. 

The log containing the prior test's results sat discarded at the foot of her bed. She didn't want to think about that right now.

Time passed and the tapping of a keyboard was the only sound in the room. She had been drinking coffee during her all-nighter. An empty cup sat next to her on the desk, forgotten. She frequently stopped her research to hold her head in her hands and rub her tired eyes. 

A knock at the door startled her from her trance. She swirled over to look at the door, and to her surprise Brenden wasn't there. It was an MTF this time. He poked his head in and grimaced at the state of everything.

"You're being reassigned to a different SCP. Faculty orders."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She swirled all the way around to face him and shook her head. "But- I've been doing so much research on 035! I feel like I'm getting somewhere with It! Why are you displacing me?!"

He stared at her with a deadpanned expression. "We rotate all staff that come into contact with 035 monthly. It's standard procedure."

Despite the fact that she should be happy about being relocated, she let her emotions get the best of her. "But I've done so well as a scientist for it! Why didn't you tell me this beforehand?"

"Doctor. We terminate any and all staff that show signs of being attached to SCP-035 due to its manipulative tendencies. Would you like that to happen to you?"

She narrowed her eyes at the soldier, her fists clenching in anger. She pressed her lips into a fine line and bit her tongue in order to stop herself from saying anything she'd regret.

"Well?"

"...No, I wouldn't."

"Good. I need to collect all your testing logs and the research you have made in order to archive them into the database." He invited himself into the room, turning up his nose as he stepped over all the clothing and papers on the floor. "Er," He stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by all the junk on the floor. "Where exactly…"

"Just- just stand there. I'll get everything." She pointed to the doorframe. He made his way back to the door in haste and turned around to watch her as she picked up all the important files and logs. It was silent as she did so, and she tried her best not to get upset over the relocation. Why was she upset? I guess it's because she thought she was good enough to handle it. No. That can't be the real reason. She doesn't want to acknowledge the real reason, either.

She stood up and walked over to the guard before handing him all the necessary material. "So uh… who exactly am I going to be in charge of now? And for how long?"

The soldier took out a file from his bullet vest and handed it to her. She took it gingerly and opened its contents. "You'll be in charge of SCP-999 from today onward. I think you’ll find it a lot nicer than whatever the hell 035 made you go through. I mean look at yourself woman.” He gestured vaguely to her face. “You’re spent.” 

She dragged a hand down her face while she read and groaned. “I knowww... I know…” From the looks of it, SCP-999 seemed to be pretty pleasant. It was essentially an orange goopy slime dog. As she imagined examining and documenting its behavior, a little spark of excitement appeared in her eyes. It’ll remind her of her days documenting animal behaviors out in the field. 

“Okay. That doesn’t sound so bad. I’m looking forward to- ARGH!” The blare of red alarms abruptly cut Dr. Brekkins off mid-sentence. She pressed her hands to her ears and winced before looking up at the MTF soldier. He took out a handgun instinctively and grabbed her roughly by the forearm before pulling her out of the door. “Wait-!” They briskly walked down the hall, the soldier dragging Dr. Brekkins behind him. The alarm blared through the halls, its ear piercing sound ringing in her ears as she quickly put her arms down and fell in step with the soldier. “What’s happening?!” 

As if to answer her, the intercoms turned on to transmit a message through the entire facility.

“ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL. THERE HAS BEEN A BREACH IN THE FACILITY. FACILITY GUARDS WILL FIND YOU SOON TO ESCORT YOU TO THE SURFACE. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ANY SUBJECTS THAT HAVE ESCAPED AND ARE ROAMING THE FACILITY DURING THIS TIME. THE MOBILE TASK FORCE WILL BE HERE SHORTLY TO NULLIFY THE THREAT.”

Dr. Brekkins was speechless as the MTF soldier pulled her along. Hundreds of thousands of SCPs would be loose in the facility and half of them are lethal or insane in some way shape or form. Maybe… she picked a bad time to pull an all-nighter.

They stopped at the heavy security doors leading to the elevators. The soldier turned around to look at her, releasing her arm in the process. “Alright. I need you to stand here while I go back in to gather more personnel. If a security guard comes through these doors follow him to the surface. If not, then wait for me. That’s an order.” And with that, he disappeared back into the halls from which they came from.

The room was covered in a red glow from the alarm lights. She didn’t have high enough access to open the doors herself. So, she listened to the MTF’s orders and sat herself down next to the window that peered into the other side of the room. Hugging her knees, she stared at the floor with panicked eyes that couldn’t focus on a single spot. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she thought of all the terrible things in this facility- all the things that could kill people. Her thoughts wandered to Matthew. If SCP-035 could do that, who knows what else other SCPs could do. Wait- oh SHIT Dr. Caplan and Dr. Patel! Her forehead wrinkled as her expression became more and more full of despair. Are they alright? Have they found a facility guard yet? Will she find them while escaping? She cried in silence as these thoughts raced through her head, not wanting to alert anyone of her position. 

She was so preoccupied with her thought that she didn’t hear the footsteps coming from the hallway. The MTF soldier from before came back with six more scientists following at the hem. “Hey!” Her head shot up in surprise at his voice. She quickly shuffled over to him and the others, her eyes shooting through the crowd to see if she recognized anyone. She didn’t.

He looked back at everyone. “Alright! You all stay behind me, no matter what. Anyone who walks in front of me risks getting shot. If you see an SCP, I’m just gonna go ahead and say this right now. YOU SHOULD PANIC. This isn’t a keep calm and carry on situation. Get the hell out of there and trust your gut. Got it? Got it. Lets go.”

They walked through the security doors and into the elevators leading to the heavy containment floor. In order to escape they’d have to go through the floor and find the security doors that lead to the surface floor, and then to either Gate A or Gate B. Just thinking about going through all that, even without the threat of monsters, made her queasy. 

Dread hung itself over the group as they stood in the elevator murmuring amongst each other. When the ding of the elevator sounded, Dr. Brekkins sucked in a breath to prepare for the journey ahead.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is super long but i kinda went off sorry yall
> 
> warning for gore n stuff

Anxiety rose in her chest as Dr. Brekkins stepped out of the elevator with the rest of the group. The corridors on the heavy containment floor were all metallic and grey, and with the dim light she had a hard time seeing the passages in front of her. Only the MTF soldier had a flashlight with him, but he instructed one of the scientists to hold it instead in case he needed both his hands when fighting. The group was basically glued to each other, the thought of straying away from each other not even an option in their minds. She was the one farthest away from the rest of them, if only by a few feet. She trailed behind them all in order to keep watch in case they missed a threat while walking through the halls. So far, everything was eerily silent. Every now and then they could hear the rattle of a pipe behind the walls or banging coming from the floor above them, but that was it.

They were able to make it far without encountering any of the loose SCPs. A few of the scientists started to stray from the group, gaining their confidence. Some would look through other rooms to find which ones led to a way forward and which led to a dead end. Others collected supplies they found while walking that would aid them in escaping. It almost gave her a false sense of hope. Almost.

The group was in the midst of moving forward when one of the scientists came sprinting back as if he had just seen a ghost. He wheezed and screamed at the rest of them something incoherent. One of the other scientists grabbed a hold of his shoulder and gently coxed him into speaking more soundly, which luckily worked. His words filled the rest of the group with an indescribable dread.

“SCP-096 he’s- he’s here. I saw--” He cried and his words started to fail him again. “I saw…I…-” 

The MTF soldier pushed his way through the group and furiously took a hold of the scientist’s collar. He held him up, his eyes filled with such a hatred it made the rest of them cower in fear. When he spoke, his voice boomed like a crack of thunder. “You looked at him?! You’re gonna get us fucking killed! Why did you come back!? You--!” He looked as if he was seriously going to injure the scientist, but a terrifying scream caught the group’s attention. It came from a few hallways away. The MTF dropped the scientist in an instant and swirled around before shoving everyone out of his way, making a dash through the hallway. “RUN!”

They bolted for their lives, making a run to where the MTF had gone. The air echoed with screaming as the group scattered through the halls to try and escape the crazed SCP. His horrible shrieks were ear splitting, and as Dr. Brekkins ducked into a side room that the rest hadn’t gone in, she could hear it tearing apart what used to be her group limb from limb and their pained screams. She closed the door behind her and her back hit it with a thump, her heart beating out of her chest. Her breathing was fast paced and unstable and she tried her best not to give away her position. She felt like that thing could hear her heart beat with how loud it was- she could feel it in her ears. Her ears felt like they were bleeding, and there were tears streaming down her face as all she could do was listen to the death of her co-workers from behind the door. 

The room she had hid in was dark and barren. She had no idea where she was. It was too dark to see anything inside of it, and for a moment she thought it was a storage room. But as her eyes flickered through the darkness, straining to make out any details, she noticed a light in the corner of her eye. It was a circle made up of blue LEDs that moved around in a set rotation. She squinted at it for a moment, unsure of what it was, before it dawned on her. The security camera. Someone must be in the security room right now. Her hope of being noticed quickly burnt out when she realized that it couldn’t be a human. Whoever was in the security room would be dead right now. So… that leaves only one explanation for why the security system was active right now. 

SCP-079.

Her pupils shrunk as the scp-possessing-a-camera moved the camera’s vision to the door she was hiding behind. It stared at her, and each passing moment it didn’t move her heart sank. She slowly shook her head, knowing exactly what it was about to do. It didn’t help her, though.

The security system opened all the doors connecting that room to the rooms around it. She felt herself fall backwards onto her butt, extending her hands behind her to lessen the fall. Swiveling around in horror, she heard the screams of SCP-096 coming closer and closer. In a last ditch effort she closed her eyes shut and held them like that like there was no tomorrow. SCP-096 rounded the corner and lunged at her, his shrieking blasting her ears. If they weren’t bleeding from the sound before, they were now. She cried out in mercy as they hit the floor behind her. She kept her eyes squeezed closed, tears rolling down the corners of them and wetting her ears, then the ground below her. She screamed along with him. It was over. She’s going to die. That’s it, this is how she goes, without seeing her friends or family again.

A searing pain shot through her right arm. Her screaming got louder as she realized what was happening. He gripped her arm tighter and tighter, his fingernails digging into her skin as he shrieked into her ear. Then, he pulled. The absolute agony that came with the action was unbearable. She screeched out her vocal cords as her arm was torn off of her, the tear forming just short of her shoulder blade. She could feel her muscles and bones and tissues ripping away from each other in a horribly violent fashion, blood spewing out of the tear. The whole time, she kept her eyes agonizingly shut. The only words repeating in her mind was the order to keep them shut. The followed them, even through the pain she was enduring. Even if she were to die, her eyes would remain shut, she told herself.

Her screaming kept going for a long time. Her cries eventually fell into painful sobs. Her face was the embodiment of agony itself, and even during her final moments she thought back to the mask. How its face had changed from one of joy and laughter to one of sadness and pain. It reminded her of herself right now. She would have laughed if it wasn’t so sad. 

She thought the SCP would continue. She knew that she was dying- that it would kill her- but instead it stopped screaming. It had seemingly calmed down when Dr. Brekkins started to cry instead of scream, and, it took her a moment to realize that it was crying with her. His rage slowly fell into its usual sobbing. They both just lay there, crying. She wasn’t sure what to do, but the pain in her arm was unbearable and she wouldn’t risk moving or opening her eyes.

All at once, the weight on top of her disappeared. She wasn’t sure how to react. Was he giving her mercy? Was he just… more calm now? Why didn’t he kill her? All these thoughts were quickly whisked away once she heard a strange, robotic voice from behind her.

“Why didn’t you kill her you stupid ape?” Came a voice from the camera. That must be SCP-079.

SCP-096 only cried, and did what she assumed was shake his head. She didn’t know for certain because she wasn’t looking at him. 

“You didn’t look at him. Fine. Continue your escape. You’ll probably die of blood loss or encounter another SCP before you do."

Man. Dr. Patel was right when he said 079 was annoying.

The crying from the SCP that had just ripped her arm off slowly faded away. She heard his footsteps walk out of the room, back to where he came from. But, she couldn’t find it in herself to open her eyes. Her ears were ringing, her arm was bleeding profusely and she didn’t even want to see what was once her arm discarded on the floor next to her. That’s too traumatic to think about. Instead, she just laid there, sobbing in pain. She had rolled over onto her side to try and stop the bleeding, but that just made the blood pool onto the ground and stain one side of her lab coat.

As she lay there, her thoughts raced. She was going to die here if she didn’t move. If she died, she wouldn’t see Dr. Patel or Dr. Caplan again, or any of her family. Her mother… what would she think? No, it didn’t matter. She was disposable- just another human being going through the motions. Her life held no meaning. She only looked at the grand scheme of things. It didn’t matter if she died here.

Her mind wanded back to the conversation she had with SCP-035. She instinctively bit her cheek. Damn it and its philosophical but very real and true words of encouragement. The truth is, she didn’t brush off what it said when she left the testing chamber that day. She thought about it. 

Her life did have meaning. She shouldn’t let it go to waste.

She opened her eyes and met her reality. The reality she loved. Her arm laying a few feet away from her, bleeding profusely with a bone sticking out of it and morbidly twisted. The pool of blood under her as she pushed herself up with her other arm, staggering as she got onto her feet. The tiredness in her eyes as she took a step forward towards the door at the end of the hall. This was reality. The life she loved.

She looked down at her labcoat sleeve and a groan escaped her. She wouldn’t be able to tie her arm and stop it from bleeding by herself. She’d need to find someone to do it. In the mean time, she tried her best to navigate the facility with a horrible pain in her shoulder, blurry vision, and dizziness due to rapid blood loss. Yeah, she’d totally survive this. She sucked in a breath and took to going forward. Her arm might be gone, but her legs still worked fine, if not a little wobbly.

She managed to get through a few halls and only hitting a door once. She entered a new room she hadn’t been in before, and was met with a tesla gate. She had to get through it at the right time, or else she’d get fried by the electric shock. Her eyes fell onto a facility guard that had sadly met his demise by it. Her eyes lit up when she saw the gun in his hand and shuffled towards his corpse before picking it up, careful not to activate the gate. She also looted some medical bandages and a higher access key card that could open the security doors leading to the surface floor. She pocketed the key card and first aide kit and stood up, looking at the tesla gate with determination. Then, she took a step forward. The tesla gate went off and she took her chance to run through it before it went off again. She made it to the other side.

She made her way through the new set of halls. Her head was spinning, and her vision was getting worse and worse. It was getting harder to tell her left from her right. She gripped the pistol in her hand tighter, a sour expression falling onto her as she kept going. She wasn’t going to give up so easily. 

Suddenly, the door in front of her opened. She gasped and shot at it without a second though, only for the bullet to hit the door at the end of the other room. The door had opened on its own. Her frown turned into a snarl as she whirled around to find the security camera staring at her.

That jerk.

She aimed at the camera and shot it right in its screen. It broke, and the blue light fizzled out before turning off. “Don’t mess with me.” She growled.

As she entered the next room her heart sank to her stomach. It was a dead end. It led to SCP-106’s containment room, and she didn’t have high enough access to the door. A few hopeless tears fell from her eyes as she whimpered and turned around, fully ready to head back the way she came, but her body didn’t let her. She was just so tired.

She took a few steps forward and staggered before her back hit the wall behind her. She slid down it slowly before finally sitting, her head lulling to the side. Her breathing was heavy and her heart beat was slow, and she couldn’t feel the pain in her arm. Her vision became worse until all she could make out were blotches of color. Slowly, slowly, her eyes started to close. 

She just couldn’t do it anymore. She was done. She felt the cold embrace of death linger in the corners of her eyes and her heart, gradually increasing its hold on her.


	9. Chapter 9

SCP-035 had been sitting in the corner of its cell, blabbering on about something to the guard in charge of making sure it didn't do anything stupid in there. Which of course it wouldn't, it's incapable of being stupid, it's one of the smartest beings alive. The guard was slowly but surely becoming sick of its constant chatter and his patience was running thin, but luckily he didn't have to worry about that for long.

"Would you shut it?" He groaned.

"Maybe. Say, is that scientist coming back tomorrow?"

"After what you did? I doubt it. Word on the street is that they're relocating her to another specimen. It's around that time anyway."

To his surprise, that was what shut it up. It didn't say a thing after that.

When the alarms went off it startled the both of them. 035 looked up at the ceiling and, if its mask could smile even wider than it already was, it would. The door to its cell slid open and it stood up slowly, making its way out. The guard panicked once he saw the SCP shuffle out of its containment and towards him. He aimed his gun and shot at it, but the bullets only seemed to get absorbed into his oozing black body. He yelped and bolted away for his life, which only made the SCP chuckle. "You can run, but you won't make it very far." Its voice came out like a sing-song.

Finally. This was its chance to escape. There had been a few breaches before this, but it never made it to the surface without some hindrance preventing it from leaving. It told itself that this time… ohhh this time was the one. The day it'd get out of this wretched place. It'll need some help, though.

Not to anyone's surprise, it met SCP-049 once it left its cell. They were right next to each other, after all. The air around them was a friendly one filled with mutual respect, and they greeted one another accordingly. "My friend," it spoke, bowing its head slightly. "It's good to see you again. I take it research has gone successfully?"

The plague doctor's eyes seemed to brighten at the mention of his work. "Yes, indeed. The scientist in charge of my supervision has been quite helpful aiding me in my work. He and I have had countless conversations about the cure and the pestilence. I hope to meet him during this escape."

The mask hummed in response. They walked towards the elevator that led out of their containment cells together. "You don't see the plague within him like the rest?" 

"Oh, no. I do," he admitted. "Its a sad fate. I plan on helping him- he deserves help more than anyone. I only hope I can cure him in time." The plague doctor looked over at the mask, who he now realized had a host. "I take it you have a new scientist as well, seeing as you were able to contract a host so quickly."

"Ah, yeah." He nodded. "We've had a few conversations. I see a lot in her." The doctor gave what one could only assume to be a surprised expression.

"The mask who's lived countless years hating humanity, finally warming up to somebody? What a revelation I must say." He chuckled drily. "Are you sure you aren't ill too?"

The mask's expression quickly changed to its sad counterpart, looking a bit angry, even. "Hey, I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth. I have no care for her."

He slowly tilted his head to the side. "Then why were you about to ask me to help you find her?"

The mask was taken aback, but before it could answer the elevator dinged and opened. In an instant they were face to face with two security guards. The four of them had a stare off before the two screamed and ran for their lives, 049 chuckling at their reaction. He turned to face the mask.

"Tell you what. I'll help you find your scientist if you help me find mine. Does that sound reasonable?" He waited patiently for a response. 

"...Yes, okay. Fine, I'll help you." The mask walked out of the doorway and bowed, its face turning back to one of joy. It gestured curtly for the other to lead the way. "After you my good sir."

"Why thank you." And thus, the two of them made their way down to the lowest level, light containment. The doctor cured every patient he met along the way, and the mask merely watched, like a movie scene happening in real time for it to enjoy. It only smiled at the D-Class begging for their lives as they tried to escape the plague doctor, knowing full well it would not help them. 

Once they got through the security doors and into one of the halls branching four directions, the mask turned to his friend. "We split up here," he stated. "If I find your scientist, I'll tell you. If you find him first, come back and find me afterwards."

The plague doctor nodded. "I'll tell you his appearance so you know who he is. Tall, around my height. Light skinned complexion. 230 lb male. Black short hair with white streaks. A beard that is just a tad outgrown." 

With that, the two of them parted ways for the time being. As 035 walked down the halls it couldn't help but laugh at all the people who encountered it and screamed before running the other way. It wasn't going to hurt them, but the idea of them fearing it at the thought of it doing so was absolutely delightful. It had to act fast though- it didn't want to waste any time in its escape.

Eventually it came across a group of scientists being escorted by an MTF guard towards one of the security doors. An MTF guard? They shouldn't have arrived until much later. It tried to find a logical explanation as to why the MTF had gotten here so fast, but it couldn't come up with anything. Either way, the group didn't have the person it was looking for, and going to them would only get it hurt. It waited for them to pass before moving onwards.

After a few more minutes of scavenging through the corridors the mask started to get bored of this fruitless endeavor. "049, I don't think he's here anymore." It said. The plague doctor appeared in the room it was in a few minutes later, looking quite down. "I couldn't find him either." "Hey, don't get yourself down. We'll find him sooner or later. But we should focus on getting to the surface for now." The plague doctor only nodded. He was still pretty upset. They made their way towards the security doors before entering, starting their journey through heavy containment yet again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally dr. caplan was supposed to die in the last chapter, but after writing this one i realize there was no point in that happening. so i edited it a bit, so hes not dead! dont worry! we dont know his whereabouts but he aint dead

_ Dr. Brekkins was standing in a flower field. There was a light breeze that made everything around her sway with it, including her hair. Everywhere she looked, she could see the field stretching onwards for an eternity. There was no beginning and end to it. _

_ She looked down at herself. Her two arms, still on her body. She didn’t have any blood on her. And, she wasn’t in her lab coat and sweater. Instead she wore what she would consider her usual clothes, the clothes she felt the most comfortable in when wearing- a long maxi dress that ran the length of her legs and ended at her ankles. It was a clean white with small blue flowers littering the entire dress.  _

_ As she stared at the never ending flower fields around her, she couldn’t help but feel at peace. It was a serene and calming scene. In fact… she couldn’t feel any emotions at all. Her mind felt like a blank slate. _

_ She took a step forward. Then, another. Her bare feet hit the wet grass below her as she started to walk through the fields. As she did so, images started to appear next to her. Family members, past friends, old pets. Her 10th grade biology teacher. They all stood to the sides of her path, unable to move forward but gesturing as if trying to say something. She passed them all by one by one, unable to feel anything, even in their presence. She was just too tired. _

_ At the end of her path sat a ball. It lay on the grass, not played with for an eternity. Once she got to it, she looked down and observed it before sitting down, still staring at it.  _

_ The ball slowly started morphing into different colors before her eyes. She stared at it blankly until it was done, before picking it up.  _

_ It had changed into the globe. Earth. She held the world in the palm of her hands, looking at it as if seeing it for the first time. Then, all at once, her emotions came back to her. She started to sob, cradling the orb to her chest as she weeped crocodile tears. She held onto it like she would never let go, refusing to do so even as it grew bigger and bigger in her palms until she could no longer cup it with her fingers. It continued until she had her arms wrapped around it in a broken hug, still sobbing her eyes out. She gripped onto its edges and hugged it as tightly as she could. _

_ The world slowly started to change in her arms. It was getting darker and darker, and before she knew what was happening it had turned into a pitch black ball. She opened her tear stained eyes to look into it- into the void. She couldn’t see a thing. Suddenly the dark ball started to melt into a sticky goop that engulfed her hands and arms. She tried to desperately grasp at it, and to her surprise it didn’t slip off of her arms. Instead, it moved forward and she hugged it to the best of her ability. It was like a scene out of a ghibli movie. She was hugging this black blob that looked and acted like the water from those movies, her face squished onto it. She wasn’t crying anymore. She just didn’t want to let go. Her eyes were glued shut, savoring this moment. _

_ Her moment of calm bliss abruptly came to an end when the sensation of burning engulfed her arms. She quickly pulled her face back, eyes wide with horror. She refused to let go, even when the ooze was causing her great pain. “Please,” she cried out, “stop…” But the burning only continued, causing her arms to melt as she kept on hugging it. The blob started to move and twist until finally coming to a halt when she looked up. She was met with a mask, smiling down happily at her. She stared back, and she started to cry again. Her eyebrows knit together and her forehead scrunched and she whaled out as she continued to stare at the mask, tears falling like waterfalls.  _ _  
  
_

_ The burning in her arms stopped as she acknowledged the mask’s existence. Slowly, she unwrapped her arms around the being. She set her shaky hands into her lap as she stared at the ground in shame. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “You don’t like me for what I represent.” The mask pointed out. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ She didn’t speak- only sat there quietly. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “You create an image of me that you morph to fit your personal experiences and past emotions.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ She clenched her fists, trying not to cry again. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I am the punching bag for all of your trauma. I am the thing you blame, instead of the people who have hurt you. It’s easier like that, isn’t it?” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I don’t even know who you are!” She finally spat out, tears forming at the corner of her eyes again. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ The mask only stared at her. “That’s exactly the point. You don’t. Why hate me, then?”  _

_ She let out a breath. “I don’t hate you…”  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Then how about you and I start fresh.”  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Just because I don’t hate you doesn’t mean I trust you.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “And you shouldn’t.” It stated matter-of-factly. “No one should. But I know what you want deep down. This dream has shown it very clearly. You want a friend. Am I right?” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ She was silent again. It took her a while to speak. “I have Dr. Caplan and Dr. Patel.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “But they don’t understand your pain like I do. They don’t get it.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ She pushed herself back from the blob. “They don’t need to! I don’t have to be your friend!” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “But you want to.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “No!” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I will always know you better than you know yourself.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “No, you don’t. You think you can read me like an open book. And hey, news flash, you can. But that doesn’t matter, because the only thing you’re doing is saying the things I choose not to say.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “And why do you choose not to say them? Embarrassment? Fear? Anxiety? You’re scared of the truth.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Her hand gripped the ground she was sitting on, scooping up a clump of dirt and grass in frustration. She stood up, her head hanging down, before looking up at the blob of black goop in front of her. She stared at the mask with determination in her eyes. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I don’t need you.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ The mask simply stared at her. For some reason, she could really feel it smiling behind that mask. Like that smile was real. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Nicely done.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ The mask sank into the black blob it was attached to, and the goop slowly melted and evaporated onto the ground. It pooled on the grass like a puddle, before melting into the ground completely and disappearing.  _

  
  
  


She woke up with a gasp, sweat trickling down her neck and forehead. She felt a few tears pricking at the corners of her eyes and quickly went to rub them away, only to find that her arm was still missing. Oh, right. The memories of her time before she passed out came back to her. The screaming, the violence, the pain and suffering. In all sense of the matter she should be dead right now.

“Glad to see you’re awake and well.” Came a familiar voice from her side.   
  
She swirled her head around to meet the mask. It was sitting on a crate next to her, and she noticed an intimidating aura in the corner of the room along with it. The plague doctor was leaning against a wall, cleaning his scalpel. She was in some sort of storage room with the two of them.

The plague doctor spoke up from his spot at the wall. “035 went to go find you. We found your unconscious body near the old man’s containment room and carried you somewhere safer. You can thank me for bandaging you up.”   
  
She looked down at her missing arm, only to find that it had been tied over with her lab coat to stop the bleeding. Her lab coat was around her like a sling over the sweater she wore. She gave him a small nod in thanks, before looking back at 035.

They sat in silence for a moment longer. It seems like neither of them wanted to talk. Then, Dr. Brekkins finally asked the thing plaguing her mind since she woke up.   
  
“Was that really you? In the dream?”   
  
035 nodded in response. 

She could feel her tears building up again, but this time it was with a bittersweet, thankful smile. She spoke with a shaky voice. “Thank you.”

The masked entity only stared at her. There were no words left to say to her about what had happened. It stood up, clasping its hands together to get their attention. “I think it’s about time we get going then, hm?” The plague doctor came to stand by its side, and, after a great effort in standing up, Dr. Brekkins came to its side too. They walked out the room together, heading for the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go ahead and stop it there. I feel like i should end this story on a bittersweet positive note, so thank you all for coming with me on this journey. I wrote this while i was going through a lot of stuff in my life and dealing with emotions and this was a means of coping and helping myself through it. Originally I picked 035 because i thought it would be fun to write convos with them, but it turned into a lot more than just that and luckily it was a good thing. Let me know if you guys want more SCP stuff and I'll see if i can imagine something with it! I had a lot of fun writing this and it got me back into writing and reading in general.  
> The dream was personal to dr. brekkins herself. it's vague for a reason, and everything in it has a meaning. i wanted the reader to make the conclusion about it on their own and try to figure out why she felt the way she did and why, by the end of it and when she woke up, she was happy


End file.
